Wasted Days and Wasted Nights

I am so ashamed of myself. I have wasted so much time and aggravation being fat.

If I had stayed on track from day one and lost the recommended 2 pounds per week, I would be 270 pounds right now. Although in my case, since I started at 328 pounds, I would have possibly lost an average of 3 pounds per week. In that case, I would be at 241 pounds.

241 POUNDS! I haven't been below 250 pounds since my junior year in HIGH SCHOOL! And it would have only taken 7 months! I wouldn't have had to starve myself. I wouldn't have had to kill myself in the gym. I wouldn't have had to spend too much extra money. I just needed to stick to it. And I didn't. Now I have wasted 5 months of my time.

We recently began attending our local church. We've lived in this area for over 18 months and we kept putting off visiting the church on the corner. This is just another example of me wasting time. Maybe I was afraid that when I began going back to church, that God would convict me in my selfish behavior. Well, that happened. What I didn't think about is that He would also provide an answer. He would provide me with the help that I needed to make changes. And He would give me hope and peace to know that I am strong enough, through Him, to change my life.

I love our new church. Specifically, I love the fact that our pastor is truly anointed. He has literally changed his Sunday morning message completely because he has felt God leading him in another direction. And every Sunday, it feels like he is speaking directly to me, like God knew what I needed to hear and put it on Pastor Jim's heart.

Being the Sunday after the 9/11 anniversary, our pastor spoke on "Numbering Your Days". Although the entire message was wonderful and uplifting, the ultimate points were these; Count your blessings every day and they will multiply, and Don't waste time!The History Channel had many shows on this weekend also focusing on 9/11 and the heroic stories that came about because of this tragedy.

And, in my Financial Peace University class Sunday night, Dave Ramsey told a story about one of his enthusiasts. Basically, the man was 28 years old and had been listening to Dave Ramsey's radio show for financial advice. Because of what he learned, he invested his money wisely, purchased the right kind of life insurance EARLY, and made the best choice for health insurance for him and his wife. And, although he was literally dying from brain cancer, he was at peace because he knew that his wife and their unborn baby would be okay and always have what they needed. This man came by Dave Ramsey's office on a September day to personally thank Dave for his advice and share how it has affected their lives. In early November, the man lost his battle to cancer, just days before his son was born. It was so quick.

One minute you're here. The next, you could be gone. Do I really want my time on this earth to be riddled with obesity? Do I want to die never knowing what it feels like to be pain free? Do I want to pass on a legacy of laziness and selfishness to my children?